Incredibly Prescient National Lampoon Bailout Piece

From National Lampoon, Nov. 1975:

Oil Co's to get Fed Help

Following the extraordinary success of the Small Business Administration, a federal agency designed to help small businesses get off the ground through federally guaranteed loans, the Administration today unveiled plans to set up a Large Business Administration, designed to help corporate giants and multinationals in the same way. First off will be a new Energy Agency, authorized to make loans and grants of up to $100 billion to companies involved in oil, coal, natural gas, and other energy resources.

In revealing the plans, Secretary Simon commented, "Here we are, throwing away billions of dollars on nonprofit enterprises such as mass transit, school lunches, and the National Park system, maintaining literally hundreds of unproductive industries, while these hard-pressed corporations struggle on with only the odd tax break to keep their heads above water, and without a dime in federal aid."

President Ford, forseeing prompt passage by the Congress of a bill authorizing the new agency, described the situation in a slightly different way. "I feel we must think of America as a huge township. We need industry in this township and we have to make it attractive for it to stay. If we don't, we're merely going to lose that valuable industry to another municipality."

Mr. Ford is running for election in 1976.